‘Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.’ 

It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future....’ 

– Jodi Picoult

Dear Friend,

 

In this newsletter Bettina Linden explores the role of forgiveness in this holy mess that we find ourselves in; plus we reveal the bare bones of the 2027 schedule.

 

We warmly welcome you to join us on the land when the time is right for you.

 

"This coming fall, I’ll be co-guiding program called A Light in the Dark- Forgiveness and Apology in a Wounded World - with Scott Eberle; in which we’ll invite people to explore apology, forgiveness, emotional expression, end-of-life lessons, and repair. All this will be done through council, reflection, time on the land, and storytelling. 

 

Why?

 

Because none of us gets through this life without hurting and being hurt. The invitation will be for people to let go, find their way back to themselves and to others, and stay present to this Holy Mess we all are a part of.

 

I’ve got my own version of this Holy Mess.

 

A few years ago I was doing my own Ballcourt fast. On day three, as the sun was setting, I was contemplating the invitation to practice living and dying—to let go so we might live in new ways. As dusk gathered, I realized I wasn’t ready. Fuck the teachings. I’d like to hold on a little longer to my relationship and home. Stay comfortable and blind for a while more. And yet the stars shone bright in the big sky and my longing for aliveness was strong.

 

I didn’t know then how much this would become a practice: learning what I need to let go of, and forgiving myself and others for the human ways we move through this life. The following year brought deep grief and heartbreak as I said goodbye to a significant life partner. And thank God! All my usual strategies for keeping busy, smiling, and hiding failed me. Slowly, I began to let go by allowing myself to grieve, releasing my old pattern of trying to control the collapse, and instead learning to offer "wholehearted cooperation with the inevitable", as Angelo, one of my elder guides, would say.

 

During a recent wilderness intensive in the summer heat, there it was again: the practice of letting go into the rawness of the moment. Overheated and exhausted, I was getting irritated with a fellow instructor while we taught counseling students. I knew the practices of repair, but living them while overstimulated, defensive, and convinced I was right was a different challenge. How do I stay in relationship when we see things differently?

 

I went for a break and sat by the creek to cool off. I remembered that our differences in teaching style are part of what enriches the students’ experience. I also acknowledged how my German upbringing has shaped my strong sense of order and responsibility. By staying with what was underneath my irritation, I was able to let it go into the creek. This is where the teachings get real: in the messy work of listening, apologizing, and finding our way back to each other. Perhaps that’s integration: bringing the practice into the moments when it is hardest to live.

What might shift in your relationships if you took some time to turn toward the wounds and hurts you carry? I look forward to gathering in the desert this fall to explore what becomes possible when we let go into the present and take an honest look at our human relationships.

 

By Bettina Linden

 

THE INITIATORY NATURE OF LOSS

Sep 13 - Sep 20, 2026 

Payahuunadü (Big Pine) and Eureka Valley, California

Petra Lentz-Snow, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

NM FALL VISION FAST

Sep 14 - Sep 25, 2026 

Cochiti Lake and Ghost Ranch, New Mexico

Emerald North, Scot Deily

 

CA MEN’S RITE OF PASSAGE

Sep 14 - Sep 25, 2026 

Inyo Mountains, Payahuunadü, California

Scott Davidson, Nick LaHaise

 

CA MIRRORING THE FOUR SHIELDS OF HUMAN NATURE: THE ART OF STORYTELLING AND LISTENING

Sep 21 - Sep 26, 2026, Big Pine, CA

Kim Belair, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

THE GREAT BALLCOURT INITIATION – FALL FAST

Sep 28 - Oct 9, 2026, Eureka Valley and Big Pine, Ca

Angelo Joseph Lazenka, Betsy Perluss

 

CA FALL VISION FAST

Oct 24 - Nov 4, 2026, Death Valley, California

Petra Lentz-Snow, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

CA WOMEN’S VISION FAST

Nov 3 - Nov 14, 2026, Lemoigne Canyon, Death Valley, CA

Betsy Perluss, Cynthia Morrow

 

A LIGHT IN THE DARK – 

FORGIVENESS AND APOLOGY IN A WOUNDED WORLD

Nov 7 - Nov 15, 2026, Hanaupah Canyon, Death Valley, California

Bettina Linden, Scott Eberle

 

2027

 

BECOMING HUMAN: THE FOUR SHIELDS MODEL 

OF NATURE-BASED THERAPEUTICS

Jan 31 - Feb 6, 2027, Palm Canyon Campground, Anza Borrego, CA

Betsy Perluss, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

MID-WINTER VISION FAST

Feb 15 - Feb 26, 2027, Death Valley, California

Petra Lentz-Snow, Nick LaHaise

 

THE GREAT BALLCOURT INITIATION – SPRING FAST

Mar 9 - Mar 20, 2027, Lemoigne Canyon, Death Valley, CA

Scott Eberle, Cynthia Morrow

 

CA SPRING VISION FAST

Apr 5 - Apr 16, 2027, Big Pine & Death Valley, CA

Petra Lentz-Snow, Scott Davidson

 

NM WOMEN’S VISION FAST

May 10 - May 21, 2027, Cochiti Lake and Ghost Ranch, New Mexico

Kim Belair, Emerald North

 

THE FOUR DIRECTIONS OF A QUEER MAN: 

FORGIVENESS, APOLOGY & RECONCILIATION

May 16 - May 23, 2027, Coastal Hills North of San Francisco, CA

Scott Eberle, Paul Browde, Sam Balka

 

CO JUNE QUEER QUEST

Jun 5 - Jun 19, 2027, Wild Mountain, Colorado

Meiko Xavier, Tam Willey

 

QUEER STORYTELLING AND MIRRORING: 

TRAINING ON QUEER BECOMING AND BELONGING

Jun 13 - Jun 19, 2027, Inyo Mountains - Big Pine, CA

Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach, Scott Eberle

 

 

CA MONTH-LONG TRAINING

Jun 16 - Jul 18, 2027, Inyo Mountains - Big Pine, CA

Betsy Perluss, Petra Lentz-Snow, Kim Belair, Meredith Little

 

 

THE YOUNG ADULT RITE OF PASSAGE 

Jun 21 - Jul 2, 2027, Payahuunadü and Inyo Mountains, CA

Nick LaHaise, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

DARK NATURE: THE INITIATORY DESCENT INTO THE WEST

Aug 15 - Aug 21, 2027, Inyo National Forest, CA

Betsy Perluss, Cynthia Morrow

 

CA SUMMER VISION FAST

Aug 15 - Aug 27, 2027, Inyo Mountains - Big Pine, CA

Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach, Scott Davidson

 

NM MIRRORING THE FOUR SHIELDS OF HUMAN NATURE: 

THE ART OF STORY TELLING AND LISTENING

Aug 18 - Aug 22, 2027, Northern New Mexico 

Emerald North, Scot Deily

 

CA MIRRORING THE FOUR SHIELDS OF HUMAN NATURE: 

THE ART OF STORYTELLING AND LISTENING

Sep 20 - Sep 25, 2027, Big Pine, CA

Kim Belair, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

FOUR SEASONS OF STORYTELLING: 

WEAVING OUR STORIES AROUND A CELTIC YEAR

Sep 26 - Sep 24, 2028, 

Death Valley: Oct 30 – Nov 6, 2027 All other sessions by Zoom

Scott Eberle, Sam DeBoskey, Tess Howell

 

NM FALL VISION FAST

Sep 28 - Oct 8, 2027 Cochiti Lake and Ghost Ranch, NM

Emerald North, Scot Deily

 

THE GREAT BALLCOURT INITIATION – FALL FAST

Oct 4 - Oct 15, 2027, Eureka Valley and Big Pine, CA

Angelo Joseph Lazenka, Betsy Perluss

 

THE ELDER’S JOURNEY: THE FOUR SHIELDS OF ELDERHOOD FOR WOMEN

Oct 4 - Oct 10, 2027 

Aravaipa Canyon Ranch and Retreat Center, AZ

Silvia Talavera, Trebbe Johnson

 

CA FALL VISION FAST

Oct 24 - Nov 4, 2027, Death Valley, California

Petra Lentz-Snow, Gretchen (Grae) Gerlach

 

CA WOMEN’S VISION FAST

Nov 9 - Nov 20, 2027, Lemoigne Canyon, Death Valley.

Betsy Perluss, Bettina Linden

 

"Do not hold regrets.

 

When you find your way to the circle, to the fire kept burning 

by the keepers of your soul, you will be welcomed…

 

You must clean yourself with cedar, sage, or other healing plant.

Cut the ties you have to failure and shame.

 

Let go the pain you are holding in your mind, your shoulders, your heart, all the way to your feet. Let go the pain of your ancestors to make way for those who are heading in our direction.

 

Ask for forgiveness.

 

Call upon the help of those who love you. 

These helpers take many forms: animal, element, bird, angel, saint, stone, or ancestor.

 

Call yourself back. You will find yourself caught in corners and creases of shame, judgment, and human abuse. You must call in a way that your spirit will want to return. 

Speak to it as you would to a beloved child.

 

Welcome your spirit back from its wandering. It will return 

in pieces, in tatters. Gather them together. They will be 

happy to be found after being lost for so long.

 

Your spirit will need to sleep awhile after it is bathed and

given clean clothes.

 

Now you can have a party. Invite everyone you know who 

loves and supports you. Keep room for those who have no 

place else to go.

 

Make a giveaway, and remember, keep the speeches short.

 

Then, you must do this: help the next person find their way through the dark."

 

 

Extract from poem by Joy Harjo. Conflict Resolution From Holy Beings. 2015.